Bacon, Olive, and Sharp Cheddar Bread: Don't Freak Out! No Kneading, No Yeast!

Okay, so before you tune out this entire post due to the fact that it's a bread recipe, let me assure you that it's more like the savoury equivalent of banana bread in terms of difficulty level. Laura Calder, whose recipe this is, calls it an 'aperitif cake', which she can do because she lived in Paris for a while and she's quite stylish and all that. I feel a bit ridiculous calling it an 'aperitif cake', so we move forward identifying it as bread. Fine with you?

Resting bread.  Can you guess which loaf has bacon in it?
I'll just tell you.  The one on the right.  The better-looking one.
Obviously.

This loaf ruled. Calder suggests you serve it before a dinner party, something to tide people over before the meal. I love this idea. It's very sophisticated. Very French. But you can serve this any old time - I think it would be a nice snack, and would also be a punchy little breakfast bread. Or be all Paris (pronounced Par-eeh) and serve it as an aperitif (pronounced a-pear-a-teef - just kidding, I know y'all know how to pronounce that).

And again, the best thing about this is how hella easy it is to make. No intimidating bread-like elements like kneading or yeast, or special paddle attachments for your special stand-mixer. Just a couple of bowls and a loaf pan (or two loaf pans, if you're me - I did one with bacon and one without - guess which one was better).

Bacon, Olive, and Sharp Cheddar Bread

This is a recipe of the aforementioned Laura Calder, whose website is at www.lauracalder.ca

I brought these to a meeting.
Yes, I had a meeting where I was required to bring snacks.  

1 and a half cups flour

1 and a half teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper

3 eggs, lightly beaten

1/2 cup, plus another tablespoon butter, melted

a big handful of chopped green olives         (you could use black olives, but I think the green lends the whole loaf more of a consistent earth-tone kinda thing)

6 slices of bacon, chopped into 1/2 inch squares and fried/broiled         (Calder's recipe called for four slices, but that's such a joke - use 6)

1 cup of grated sharp cheddar cheese         (you could also use Gruyere, parm, asiago - anything that is grate-able and has a nice strong, sharp taste)

a pinch of salt         (but seriously, go easy - you've got bacon, cheese, and olives in there - a lot of salt action already)

2 tbsp of chopped fresh rosemary         (this was a nice addition, but totally not necessary)

So here's the drill:  preheat your oven to 350 degrees F. Butter a loaf pan, and then throw a tablespoon of flour in there and shake the pan around, so the flour covers the butter. Your pan has now been buttered and floured.  

Mix the flour, baking powder, and ground pepper together in a mixing bowl. Beat the eggs lightly, then add them into the flour, mixing all with a wooden spoon. Then stir in the melted butter. Don't over-mix, just stir until everything is incorporated. Now add the cooked and chopped bacon, chopped olives, and grated cheese. Again, just try to evenly distribute, not more than that. Overworked batter is no good.

Spoon the batter into the loaf pan, and stick her in the oven for about 45 minutes. You'll know it's ready when it's slightly browned on the top and a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.  

Let me tell you, making this bread kind of made me feel like some kind of pioneer.

Let it cool slightly, and then remove it from the pan. Slice it up. And then definitely follow Calder's instructions, which are to 'serve with drinks'. I mean, unless it's breakfast.

Cheddar and Apple Omelette: O-me-lette You Finish.

I stole the omelette you finish thing from Drunk in the Kitchen, which is a pretty damn hilarious series of videos by this woman who cooks things like grilled cheese while getting drunk (she forgets the cheese). Here's the link to the omelette video – watch it, it'll make you laugh. But only if you have a good sense of humour. Favourite quote:  "Some people like to have only egg whites in their omelettes, and that's a good way to make your omelette shitty". Here's the link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glwkK7turPY.

Okay, on to the omelette that I actually made. It wasn't that pretty. But it was delicious. Going out for brunch is kind of nice (minus the line-ups, and the having to pay for it), but I feel like one of the best parts of the week is Saturday or Sunday morning (slash early afternoon, who am I kidding). You get the paper, you make some tea, you have some delicious toast with ricotta cheese, and you make this omelette. Apple and cheddar might sound strange, but it's such a dynamite combo. I first saw these two hot ingredients in an omelette on an excellent website a few years ago called Everybody Likes Sandwiches, www.everybodylikessandwiches.com. They also used to have a sandwich at Common Ground, this student-run cafe at Queen's, with ham, apple, and cheddar, and it was kind of a big deal at the time. So you could also add ham to this omelette, if that blows your skirt.

Ooooh, ingredients shot.

I wish I could tell you that I have some sort of no-fail method for omelettes. I don't. Case in point? I kind of mucked mine up this morning. You'll see it in the shot below. Frankly, it wasn't my best. And I wasn't going to put it on the blog because I thought it didn't look that nice. Then I thought to myself:  isn't the whole point of this to try and help people be less intimidated about cooking? And not to have to strive for perfection? Isn't the message meant to be, for home cooks across the land, that they too can make a shitty-looking omelette and it's okay? I looked at myself in the mirror, hard, and said:  'you put that omelette recipe up, Carly Dunster'.*

Apple and Cheddar Omelette

2 eggs, beaten (if you can, bring your eggs to room temperature before you introduce them to the heat; I also usually add either a wee splash of milk or water to the eggs before beating)

1 green onion, sliced and added to the beaten eggs before going into the pan

salt and pepper, added to the beaten eggs, again before pan entry

1/2 an apple, cut into matchsticks (don't worry about peeling)

as much cheese as you would like in your omelette (I think it's judgmental to enter a precise amount)

1 tsp butter for frying (or olive oil - but really, butter is tastier)

2 tbsp of fresh parsley (or chives, or thyme would be nice)

You ain't a beauty but hey, you're all right.
Actually, you are delicious.

Beat up your eggs, incorporating a bit of milk or water, the sliced green onion, and your salt and pepper. Make sure you beat them well – the fluffier the better. Get your non-stick frying pan nice and hot – not max heat, but medium-high at least. Once it's hot, add your butter or olive oil, and as soon as it's melted, pour in the beaten eggs. The pan should have been hot enough that you hear a pretty significant sizzle when your eggs hit the pan. Using a spatula, lift up the edges of the omelette, which should already be cooking and keeping together, and let the uncooked middle seep under them to the edges. Do that all around the pan until there is no more liquid running in the middle of the pan. It will still look moist though, and it should. Turn your heat down, to medium-low. Place your cheese and apples onto one side of the omelette. Shimmy your spatula under the side without the filling, and flip it over. Just go for it. You may screw it up. Big whoop. Onward and upward. Keep the folded omelette on low-ish heat, to ensure that the apples get a little bit of heat and all of the cheese melts. Remove from heat when those two things have happened.  

Serve this with a lovely Saturday morning/late Saturday afternoon. It's also a great quick dinner idea. Makes enough for one serving.

*I didn't really look at myself in the mirror, hard. Can you imagine if I did? That would be an embarrassing overreaction. But I did think twice about posting, so...